My husband is having the snip, so I’m thinking of getting a tortoise. Perhaps I should back up a bit?


So, my husband has booked in for a vasectomy, and despite being very much a part of this decision I am having a LOT of feelings about it. He’s doing it because more kids is probably not a great idea (for reasons I’ll get into), and because I’ve yet to meet a method of birth control that doesn’t fuck with me in creatively cruel ways. Essentially, he’s doing a kind and sensible thing for Very Good Reasons and yet still: the feelings.


When the having of babies was all in front of me and not in my rearview, I assumed that I would know, definitively, when I was done having kids; as though one baby would slot into the last gap in my family jigsaw and render it irrefutably complete. But there is no reassuring certainty of feeling as it turns out, only a series of practical and biological considerations to weigh up coldly, like an accountant.


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