Trigger warning: Suicide


As a 40-something woman, I’m part of a pre-social media and pre-Google generation that grew up barely hearing the term mental health.


I can’t remember ever learning about it at school, or having conversations in my early workplaces, or it being a topic of conversation amongst family and friends. And the message that silence sent, very firmly, was that it was NOT ok to not be ok. 


That was troubling, because my own childhood was traumatic on many levels. From the nuclear fallout of divorce to a blended family that just didn’t blend, separation from my siblings and an on-off relationship with my father, my family is without a doubt my biggest pain point. It was an experience of loss and social workers, of family therapy and courts, and of never putting down roots or forming lifelong friendships.


I say this now, only to provide some context for the story I am really here to share. The story of the day I decided I didn’t want to continue with the life I was living.


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